Alex needs surgery. We scheduled an MRI for Tuesday and his surgery is supposed to be Wednesday or Thursday. Well around 5:00 on Friday the radiology place called to say they haven't gotten authorization from the insurance company for the MRI so they had to cancel his appointment. Are you fucking kidding me? What kind of bullshit is that? He needs surgery and this is the shit we have to worry about. With the fucking holiday weekend we can't do anything until Tuesday morning. I'm hoping we can still get him in for the MRI on Tuesday...if not everything is going to be prolonged even more. He's in so much pain and he shouldn't have to suffer like this. It's insane. I'm so pissed off. And there's nothing I can do for him. I'm trying to keep him as comfortable as possible but he's trying to do too much. He doesn't want to leave me high and dry and I keep yelling at him that I'll break his other arm if I have to. Just sit down and relax. He's not used to being dependent on me and feeling helpless. I know it sucks but let me do what I can. He can make it up to me later :) I just want him to be okay. I hate seeing him like this.

The safety pin isn't his only problem!

My husband is broken

Literally.

The phone rang around 6:30am and it was a guy from Alex's gym...Alex got on the phone to tell me that he broke his shoulder. Holy shit! What?! I sort of went into panic mode, I had just woken up and I was so confused. Alex reminded me that I had the kids. Oh right. I went into Matthew's room and told him to get ready...he must have heard something in my voice bc he was dressed and ready to go before I was. He got himself breakfast, I didn't have to tell him anything. Ella got ready quickly too and I think we were out the door in 10 minutes bc I arrived at the daycare before 7:00am. I don't think we've ever gotten ready so quickly!

I got to the ER...and after a few minutes they brought me to my honey. Apparently, he was lifting weights...bench press...and he heard a crack, the next thing he knew the bar was on his throat, the guy spotting him said "oh shit" and got it off of him. Then, the guy hands Alex his arm...he described it as a "limp noodle"...just hanging. They called 911 where Fire Rescue got him and took him to the ER.

The x-ray showed that he broke his humerus bone (yea, not so funny) high up near the shoulder. It was a clean break and the bones are not touching at all. Not good. They gave him a sling, a prescription, and a referral to an orthopedist. So, I got him home and have been helping him and making calls all day. Had to get my work situated and his and made his appt...which isn't until Friday and that totally sucks.

I feel so bad for him bc no matter which way he moves, his arm wants to move too and then he's in terrible pain. I'm not sure how he's going to sleep. His arm is really swollen. And there's terrible bruising where the bar fell on his throat.

We are so lucky that he had a spotter and that it was "only" his arm that was hurt. He could have hurt his chest or something.

I tell you...this was a huge scare for me. I was shaking after I got off of the phone. This isn't supposed to happen to him...he's my rock, he takes care of me. I always go into a mode when something happens with the kids, I'm rationale and take care of everything. Alex has never been hurt in the 15 years that we've been together...so I felt lost and alone in that half hour. Relief came over me when I finally saw him and got to kiss him and hold him.

And now...I have 2 little kids and 1 big kid to take care of. So, back to it.

Until next time...

I will always celebrate the day you were born. You were the best part of my life and I will never forget. I love you Poppa. You are in my heart forever.

I'm stressed and annoyed.

ramblings...

Our weekend was okay. Nothing terribly exciting. I relaxed mostly. Matthew had a sleep over with Davis so it was a little chaotic but they were really good for the most part.

I found myself in sort of a depression. I can't really understand why.

Mother's Day was okay. Sort of no big deal but that was my own doing. I told Alex not to get me anything considering all that he did for me on my birthday, I didn't feel it was necessary. I guess a part of me wished he didn't listen...not that I wanted anything extravagant...maybe flowers? He got me a card from him and one from the kids which they both signed. I love that Ella can write her name now. Matthew remembered it was Mother's day after Davis left and gave me his gifts which was a small plant, a small pot, and a list of things about me. It was very sweet. I couldn't really decide if I wanted to go out to eat or anything so we just ended up staying home and Alex went out and got me ice cream. It was a quiet day...which was fine. I guess I just wished for a little bit excitement or something a little extra special. But, it's okay. It is what it is.

I have an appt for a massage on Saturday and hopefully to get my mani/pedi too. I finally get to use my gift certificates from my birthday. So, I hope to have a little me time on Saturday.

I went to the gym this morning. I am so tired! I am not sleeping well and it doesn't help that Ella wakes me up anywhere between 1-4 times a night. I can't wait for this to pass.

I got some really good hugs and kisses this morning from both my kiddos. That was really nice!
And that's about it I guess. Just another day.

Good-bye Cubs

Last game of the season!